Sunday, October 10, 2004
i was in the bathroom applying a coat of lip gloss while Mister was going to the hall closet to get his coat in preparation for our usual once a week night down at the local when i heard him gasp.
"you have to come out here now, and be quiet."
i am used to this quite alarming statement because it is spoken in my house regularly, mostly when an unusual animal happening is about to occur. all kinds of things wander in and out of our house and yard and we consider ourselves to be very lucky observers. squirrels live in our roof, mice in our basement, we host a huge variety of spiders in our lofty ceiling and just this week i caught a frog in the living room, and that's only inside the house. what goes on outside is even better, but usually limited to daylight, being that it was 10:30 at night i was curious. i dropped my gloss in the sink and went into the front hall. right there outside the windows flanking the front door was a giant red rooster.
i stood there flummoxed for a minute, i had never seen anything like it, where the fuck did he come from? as far asi know none of our neighbors keep chickens. he was huge and staring in our window with one beady eye, the other being completely swollen shut, and i will admit i was slightly terrified. roosters can be aggressive and unpredictable and here he was blocking our front door. Mister and i debated about how to handle it, he opened the door a crack and said, "shoo" in one of the least commanding tones i have ever heard. for a bird lover he was crap at dealing with this, he was shit scared of it and so was i, but i could see someone had to take command of the situation. i grabbed the broom and tentatively opened the door and gave it a push. he squawked and flapped and made a move in my direction. we screamed like little girls and slammed the door. we were late to meet our friends and agreed on the only possible solution, go out the front window.
down at the bar we recounted our incredible story for everyone's amusement and then commenced an ever evolving series of bad cock jokes. the BigMan was due home within the hour so i couldn't stay, there was no way i could let him come home to that kind of surprise so i left the party early. i was sort of hoping the bird would get bored and go away on its own but no such luck. he sat on my table clucking away and staring into the window, i started to feel kind of sorry for him and left the light on for him so he didn't get nervous. BigMan returned home and after i finished yelling at him for catching him peeing on the lawn (BigMan says that peeing where ever you want is one of the greatest pleasures god has bestowed upon men) i ushered him through the front window as well. all i can say is he moves with surprising ease for a man of his girth.
i gave the rooster some pine nuts and went to bed. Mister came in around 2:30 and said he was still out there, as he was when we woke up the next morning. i grew bolder and went outside, he didn't make a move and after watching him awhile i decided he was probably harmless and touched him. he cooed like a little pigeon and sat down to be stroked, he was obviously used to being pet and seemed to like it. he spent the whole next day on our front porch as people came and went as uaual and he never caused a fuss. we are guessing he must be from a nearby farm and was driven out by another rooster judging by the state of his eye. for whatever reason he seems to have chosen us as his new family and i am not about to turn him away. i have had big, red, one eyed cocks take a fancy to me in the past, but this is the first one that has had feathers.*
it's been a few days and he has been running around my yard eating bits and bugs and seems pretty happy, so i think we are going to let him stay.
*i am so so sorry, i couldn't resist one last bad joke. best behavior from now on i promise.
posted by Ms_Bunnie 1:52 PM
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