Saturday, December 27, 2003
to my friend:
our non fight last night made me think of all of the terrible terrible things i have done to you in the past, and all of the awful awful things you have done to me. it is such an incredible gift that what could have blown us apart forever has instead brought us closer. we have gone from lovers, to friends, to what i now consider family. thank you for always being there, i love you very much bryan, and have a happy birthday!
now put down the solcom and go make some art.
posted by Ms_Bunnie 1:45 PM
---End---
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
happy holidays everyone!!!
thanks for all the emails, if i havent written back yet it is because my server is being spotty as usual, and not because i am being lazy (which is usually the reason). mister L and i are departing for albany in a few hours for x mas fun. i cant wait to give presents, to me that is where all the fun is. getting pressies is nice, but giving them is way better.
hope everyone gets what they wanted this year!
posted by Ms_Bunnie 6:29 AM
---End---
Monday, December 22, 2003
dont expect too much of this to make sense, i am on the verge of delerium. i am fending off whatever this illness is that seems to be going around and i havent lost the entire battle yet, but i have definately lost the territory that is my head. the body is operating on auto pilot at this point, but there is no time for rest. it is the holidays and there is much to do...so much in fact that if i think about it too much i will have to go back to bed and insist on sleeping till mid january.
the other day my horoscope told me to go plumbing through my old diaries for inspiration, and while i have said before that i only put limited stock in astrology i figure it is never a bad idea to go through old things. i didnt find much in the way of inspiration but i did find out a whole lot of things that only make sense in hindsight. my first choice was the book that covered my time in hotel 17, right when everything was on the verge of falling apart. i sort of know in my mind how awful things were but it was so completely different to see it spelled out on paper. it is amazing really what the mind and time can do to ones memory, in my head it had all taken on a soft amber hue, horrible, but more like a sad movie i had seen a long time ago, old yeller in my head. while i reread my passages i was shocked at the direness, desperation and tragedy that filled nearly everyday of that year. at the same time i was proud to see that i never gave up faith, i was always working to change, i always knew that it was temporary and there was another life for me. looking back i see i was just as much lucky as i was right.
not everything i read was so heavy, i did find some amusing things. one was i realized that i hooked up with a semi famous actor and forgot all about it. he was no one then and i am not going to tell you who he is now. in the entry i was in a a nightclub (quel suprise) and i picked up a pretty boy on the way to the bathroom (yet another shocker), he said he was an actor. i feigned interest as we waited in line, he talked about his hallmark movie of the week that was on the next night and his part in a movie that was coming out. he lied about his name (which i found out the next day when i watched the hallmark special) but he told the truth about his parts. what can i say? he was fun to make out with and i forgot all about him till i read that entry. for a laugh i looked up the movie he was in on imdb and to my surprise it was someone who's name i recognized immediately, not only that but he was in one of my all time favorite "teen" movies which happed to be on my tv the exact moment i was looking him up! wierd huh. he was alot skinnier back then which is probably why i didnt recognize him...or at least that is the story i am sticking with.
posted by Ms_Bunnie 8:02 AM
---End---