Saturday, May 24, 2003

ok so we have been cooped up in the house for days dues to shitty weather. actually thats not strictly true since mister L has been out fishing for the last few days and i have been here sorting though all of my crap. i have a phenomenal amount of crap. i mean it, just tons of things i have collected over the years and i am sick of it. so i am gradually sifting my way through and after 2 full days i have made hardly a dent, i am looking at weeks of work here. anyway the point is that i am going a little stir crazy so mister L suggests we hit the local scene, or i should say what passes for one here.
we have a little strip of bars and wanna be nyc nightclubs and thats all. we go to the loft first and wach as the men in tight t shirts out number the girls 2 to one, they are playing terrible music so we decided to move on after one drink. we decide to take a chance and go across the street to liquid, a tiny club that fancies itself the hottest venue in town. we sat and listened to terrible house music and i told mister L that he really needs to get off his ass and start dj'ing again so he can save us all from this torment. after that i had a glass of wine and entertained myself with the parade of bad fashion that consistently wandered by. i am sorry to report that white denim jeans have made a comeback. god help us all. as we were amusing ourselves at others expense very strange little man wandered up to us. he was much older and was wearing kahkis and a sweater vest, needles to say he stuck out in a sea of guidos. he latched on to us like a barnacle, at first i didnt mind but he just rambled and rambled and at first he was making sense but then he was just making things up. he mentioned he used to go to limelight so i told him i used to work there as a rope girl for the vip area. he says he saw me turn down 2 mafia guys with blondes. there is no way i did that and there is no way he knew me, but he just kept repeating the story. he was such a klingon we had to leave the club to get rid of him. so much for a night out dancing.

posted by Ms_Bunnie 3:48 PM
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Thursday, May 22, 2003

do you ever have those days where your body feels like you are wearing a suit 2 sizes too big? it all feels bulky and ill fitting. i keep going to smooth it all out but the flesh just springs back into place. sometimes i fantasize that i could just cut huge chunks of flesh off myself, just trim and whitle with an electric knife till everything is the way i want and i feel light and empty.

i am restless and uncomfortable. i dont want to move and i cant sit still, i cant start a project because i cant concentrate and i have been really bitchy to everyone in the house for no good reason. poor mister L had to go fishing just to get the fuck away from me. there is a party in the city tonight that i sort of kind of want to go to. its one of those cake parties i have mentioned before, which are sexy little debauched events, but i cant find anything i would be happy to wear and so i dont want to go. i am actually that ridiculous that if i cant find an outfit i am happy with i wont go out, not to mention the previously stated body suit fit issue.
fucking cock i am in a bad mood. i just started drinking tea so i am going to blame it all on the caffine.

i still dont have my new camera and when i called the sales rep he managed to sell me a whole load of other stuff to go with it. i really should not be allowed to talk to those people, i have sucker written all over my voice. by the time i got off the phone i had spent a months salary. in a way i wondering if i am not torturing myself, because now that i have spent all that money i have to work harder to justify the expense. what if my new stuff sucks? what if i hate it? what if i lose interest (as has happened so many times before)? what if i cant figure out how to work the new one? what if what if what if....
posted by Ms_Bunnie 11:42 AM
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Wednesday, May 21, 2003

oh i had a terrible dream that I went to go visit a friend at his house and when i walked through the door he was standing on a chair with a noose around his neck. when he saw me he kicked away the chair and started to hang. i rushed over and tried to replace the chair but he kicked it away again. i grabbed his legs and hoisted him upward but i am not strong enough to hold him for long. if i let go to get help he dies, if i stay i cant hold him for long and he dies. obviously in the end he dies and i am wracked with guilt wondering if there had been anything i could have done to have a different outcome.
posted by Ms_Bunnie 6:41 AM
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Monday, May 19, 2003

sorry for the long hiatus, i have been very busy entertaining guests. i wont bore with all the details but i will say i had a fantastic time. right now i am resting up and waiting for my new camera to arrive. i can usually be a patient person but i have to admit i am getting a little itchy over this one. for the first time in a long time i am feeling inspired again and i want to get back to business. i suppose i could shoot on the camera i have always had but it suddenly seems inferior to me. i dont want to take the risk of taking a good photo that could have been that much better if i had been patient. what do i do? what do i do? i will give it a couple of days and then just go with the oldie.


ps there is a new photo in gallery 3 misc.
posted by Ms_Bunnie 3:50 PM
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